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My Spouse Cheated. Here's Why I Didn't Leave. | Best Life
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I’m Cheating on My Husband Because He Refuses to Go Down on Me
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When your husband suddenly has a new reason to look good naked, don't be surprised if he's suddenly hyper-aware about the calories in his favorite foods or the lack of definition in his calves. A breakdown in communication is not only sometimes a precursor to cheating, but a sign it's already happening.
If the only thing you can glean about those supposed after-work drinks he had with his friends is that they were "fine," you might want to start looking further into what else he might be hiding from you. And if you want to open up the lines of communication in your marriage, start with these 20 Things He Always Wants You to Say.
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If your husband has a relatively small social circle, but suddenly has someone he's texting at all hours of the night, you might be seeing the nascent signs of an affair. In fact, the thrill of hiding the new relationship from a significant other might even be what keeps him going back for more. Cheating can create a relationship that has excitement and risk. It can indicate a break from the monotony of the relationship with one's primary partner," says Powell.
Those suddenly high credit card bills aren't just the result of him switching from Trader Joe's to Whole Foods.
In many affairs, showering a new significant other with gifts keeps the spark alive—and often leads to some serious spending. If your husband has suddenly found someone who feels like an escape from the monotony of your marriage, don't be surprised if he starts noticing every little flaw in you. Strange as it may seem, those bizarre fights over how you do your hair or unpack the dishwasher could be a sign that he's seeing someone else. Your husband has suddenly taken to waking up at a. Unfortunately, this sudden change in routine could be a sign of infidelity.
With someone new to make time for, don't be surprised if his schedule suddenly shifts.
Ask Ammanda: My husband keeps cheating
You spent years trying to get your husband to see a ballet with you or try Ethiopian food, to no avail, but now, he's suddenly telling you about how amazing Le Sacre du Printemps is? It could be one of the signs he's cheating. Those new interests don't stem from out of nowhere—they could be shared with his new significant other. Affairs don't offer the commitment or security of a traditional relationship, which often means that men involved in them can start acting insecure with their partners.
If your husband is suddenly acting needier or has new concerns about his success or attractiveness, it could be one of the signs he's cheating. Sometimes, the guilt that comes along to an affair doesn't stop at the people involved. If your husband's friends are suddenly treating you like their BFF, even when you haven't been that close in the past, it could be a sign your spouse is cheating and has let some members of his inner circle in on the news. Your husband has rarely discussed other women in front of you before, but suddenly, he's all-too-eager to tell you just how unattractive even supermodels are to him.
If this is the case, he could be overcompensating for some of his real-life dalliances to make you feel more secure. You used to be the center of your husband's world, but these days, you feel like more of an afterthought. Unfortunately, this could be a sign that he's being unfaithful.
When your relationship stops being top priority, your husband may give himself some additional license to do the things that spending his free time with you sometimes prevented, like going out all night with friends, or claiming that he doesn't know when he'll be back from a specific activity. If it happens once or twice, it's probably not a big deal; But when it is said prematurely and way ahead of making plans for the evening, that is something worth paying attention to," says Sendler. Many people enter into affairs as a means of finding some kind of validation they feel like they're missing out on.
As such, many men will go to great lengths to show their admiration for the people they're cheating with—in many cases, liking virtually all of their posts on social media. With cheating often comes a fair amount of guilt, which leads some husbands to get their spouses to stop doing nice things for them.
1. Lack of love
If he goes out of his way to tell you that you shouldn't be making dinner or buying him gifts, it could be a sign he's feeling guilty about his affair. According to licensed marriage and family therapist Carrie Krawiec , some men will also experience "extreme guilt and say, 'I'm a bad person' with no explanation. Sex is an inherently intimate experience, but when someone's cheating, it becomes significantly less so.
If your spouse is no longer looking at you during sex, bails on the foreplay, or won't even kiss you during the act, it could be a sign his mind is wandering elsewhere. While some cheaters are eager to stop having sex with their primary partners, others start wanting sex non-stop. The affair that's reinvigorated his libido may mean he's all-too-eager to tear your clothes off the second he gets home. You used to be able to talk to your husband about anything, often spending hours at a time just discussing your day or joking around with one another.
However, cheaters will often stop engaging in this kind of intimate rapport with their spouse as soon as they find someone else—possibly someone who piques their interest more than you—to have those conversations with. Sometimes cheating husbands try to be discreet about their dalliances, but can't help but discussing them anyway. Many cheating spouses will try to gauge their significant other's reaction to a story about cheating by framing it as though it was something told to him by a friend in confidence—or will ask them what they'd do if they were in the same situation.
Between the guilt of having an affair and the waning attraction to their spouse, many men will make virtually any excuse to stay out of the house. In some cases, this means logging long hours at work—or at least pretending to. Deflection is a key tool in the cheater's arsenal, meaning that even if he's engaging in some seriously suspect behavior, he won't admit that anything's amiss. Instead, he'll simply tell you that you're acting irrational, or even suggest you get into therapy for your jealousy issues.
If your jeans-and-t-shirt kind of guy is suddenly decking himself out in Armani suits, a new partner may be influencing his tastes. In addition to hitting the gym more often and being more careful about their grooming, many cheating husbands will make sure their wardrobe looks like a million bucks to please the new object of their affection.